“God has a way of taking us through hard times and difficult seasons, wiping our tears, and then bringing back to us in an even greater way the things that we thought were lost to us forever.”- Roy Lessin
Wow, how true those words are in my life right now. Everything in my life was stripped away – my ability to use my hands for arts and crafts, computers, and even animals, my ability to study and do well in class, and my ability to be a care-free college student, taking advantage of every opportunity to have fun. It even, in a strange way, took away my friends, making them more like caretakers than friends.
A few weekends ago, I was at a women’s retreat where it occurred to me that my life greatly resembled Job’s life. Not only were the things I valued in life stripped away from me, but when they were, I turned to God. Turning toward God in a time of hurt is a wonderful thing, but when it is done in a prideful way, like Job, and like myself, it can be harmful. Like Job, I was proud of the fact that I refused to turn away from God in spite of what was happening in my life.
That weekend, I prayed and asked God to help me learn humility, to Him and to others. He took me at my word (I should have learned before, don’t pray things like that unless you truely mean them!). Two days later, I was struck down with humility. I was proud of the fact that I didn’t didn’t complain, didn’t cry, need help, didn’t ask for special favors, and could do things on my own. God took all five of those things I was proud of and stripped them away in one day. I won’t go into great detail, but I had to complain about my pain to the doctor (who didn’t listen), ended up crying talking to the nurse, had to ask for my roommate to come pick me up because I couldn’t drive home, ask my professor to let me take my test a different day, and have help taking a bath. That’s humility.
After humbling myself before God and before others, God began to build me back up. It is beautiful how He is slowly bringing me back to the things I thought I had lost. Sure some of it is totally different than how I would have imagined, but the beauty is that it is perfect. His plan is so much better than mine, that I wish I could remember that no matter how hard things seem, it is all working together for His glory. I lift everything up to Him, placing it in His hands, asking for His perfect will.