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In: Chronic Illness

A serious commitment is something that should not be taken lightly, but this past year, I have grown closer and closer to my Savior and I wanted to demonstrate the new commitment I have to Him in a visible way. “But if your servant says to you ‘I do not want to leave you,’ because he loves you…then take an awe and push it through his earlobe, into the door , and he will become your servant for life.” Deuteronomy 15:16 2,000 years ago, the Son of God endured terrible pain to pay the price to free me. Though I am released and free toRead More →

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In: Chronic Illness

“God has a way of taking us through hard times and difficult seasons, wiping our tears, and then bringing back to us in an even greater way the things that we thought were lost to us forever.”- Roy Lessin Wow, how true those words are in my life right now. Everything in my life was stripped away – my ability to use my hands for arts and crafts, computers, and even animals, my ability to study and do well in class, and my ability to be a care-free college student, taking advantage of every opportunity to have fun. It even, in a strange way, tookRead More →

On:
In: Chronic Pain

Has it really been a whole month since I last posted? It hardly seems that long, yet in some ways it seems like even longer. On April 16, I went to the hospital for an outpatient placement of an epidural line in my upper back. For three weeks, I would “enjoy” the blessings of a continuous epidural infusion of two medications made to scramble pain signals. I know this is a little confusing, but here is the information I’ve collected about them… What is a continuous epidural infusion?Just as an epidural is given to pregnant women during childbirth, it can also be used in theRead More →

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In: Chronic Illness, Chronic Pain
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In reflection over my last post, I’ve realized that I failed to mention another huge part of the realization my lack of participation in worship made me realize. God is worthy and I cannot give Him what He deserves. It doesn’t matter if you have one working arm or a hundred, as humans we simply cannot give Him what He deserves. It isn’t something I am lacking solely because I cannot worship with the accompaniment of bass sounding music, but something we as a human race, as all creation, lacks. Sure we can sing Him pretty songs, help others, or even lead others to Him,Read More →

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In: Chronic Illness, Chronic Pain
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During worship this morning, I stood gritting my teeth and holding back tears, desperately clutching my arm to my body in an attempt to protect it from the low bass sound waves ricocheted around my body. For some reason, my arm responds to low sound waves the same way your arm might if it was placed in a pair of vice grips, then tightened. As painful as it was, it wasn’t the pain that finally caused the tears to roll down my face. “How can I say thanks For the things You have done for me, Things so undeserved, Yet You gave to prove YourRead More →

On:
In: Chronic Illness, Chronic Pain

I have felt like my life has gone no where recently. My spiritual life seems the same. My arm is showing no instantaneous improvements. I was starting to struggle with these ideas when God gave me a huge reminder. In the United States 100 pennies are equal to $1. In countries where we still use the evil English system, there are 5,280 feet in a mile. At the same time, it is a lot easier to save one penny than to make a dollar. And everyone knows it is easier to take a 1 foot-long step than a mile-long step. Likewise, it is easier toRead More →

On:
In: Chronic Illness, Chronic Pain

This post was written when my blog was called Out of the Flames So, why the title of this blog? I wanted a title that portrayed a little of my story, who I am, in spite of the pain I’m in currently. Because CRPS pain is so often described as a burning pain (and I would agree, my arm often burns), I thought of a Phoenix who rises out of the flames. In spite of devastating events that threaten to burn my life into ashes, even when the doctor diagnoses me with a condition that destroys my life like an inferno destroys a house, orRead More →

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In: Chronic Illness, Chronic Pain
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The purpose of this blog isn’t for me to complain, but to comment on my life with a chronic pain syndrome, which of course includes pain. Even though pain is a part of my everyday life, it isn’t always the thing that most affects my life. Sometimes the emotional struggles are just as difficult as the physical ones. I realized the other day that I had not used my left arm normally in more than six months. I have not folded my own clothes, zipped a Ziploc bag, or clapped my hands in half of a year. I remember being insisting that people know myRead More →

On:
In: Chronic Pain

Two months ago, I had never heard of Complex Regional Pain Syndrome (CRPS), but those four letters have changed my life. It is amazing how a few words from a doctor can make such a significant change in your life. Just as I had not heard of Complex Regional Pain Syndrome, I cannot assume you have, though there are more than 1.2 million people in the United States alone who are suffering with this disease formerly known as Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy (RSD). I’m writing about my Complex Regional Pain Syndrome not because I want to scare you by letting you know a little of theRead More →